The Truth about Weight Loss



I want to talk about a topic that has become a little taboo in this space, but I’ve been hearing come up a lot lately in coaching sessions and in the Supermama Society (my group coaching membership- learn more, here) and that is weight loss and intuitive eating.


I'll be honest- weight loss is not the most fun to talk about as someone who shares about IE. People are very divided about the topic of weight loss.


But I have MANY women come to me telling me they they want freedom with food but they also want to lose weight… and there’s a theme that I see coming up again and again with clients and in my group coaching membership:


Fear and shame over wanting to lose weight and fear and shame over not losing weight.


They feel like in order to be an intuitive eater, they can’t want to lose weight.


Friends: this is what keeps us coming back to diets and and from embracing food freedom long term.

If you feel like if you have the desire to lose weight, you can't pursue intuitive eating, you WILL remain trapped in a cycle of on-again, off-again dieting and striving to reach that goal. Freedom is not found in dieting.


If you feel like if you have the desire to lose weight, you can't pursue intuitive eating, you WILL remain trapped in a cycle of on-again, off-again dieting and striving to reach that goal. Freedom is not found in dieting.

So the question is- Can you pursue Intuitive Eating while still wanting to lose weight and have health goals?


Let’s be clear- the purpose of Intuitive Eating is not to lose weight.


The purpose of Intuitive Eating is to ditch dieting for good, create healthier relationship with food, connect with your body's inner cues and begin to learn to eat in alignment with your values.


However, even though it's not the purpose of Intuitive Eating, just because you pursue Intuitive Eating doesn’t mean you’ll never or can’t have a desire to lose weight.


What’s important is that we get to the bottom of WHY that’s your goal and if it’s actually a goal that will serve you, your health and balance long term.


Intuitive Eating is weight neutral. It’s not meant for intentional weight loss but it’s also not a guarantee you’ll gain weight, which is many women's fear, as well.


Food freedom does not mean your body will never change. TRUE intuitive, balanced eating means you find a size range that is right for YOUR unique body that doesn’t take a ton of effort to maintain.


TRUE intuitive, balanced eating means you find a size range that is right for YOUR unique body that doesn’t take a ton of effort to maintain.

Now, that doesn’t mean if you’re not intentional about your health or tuning in to your body you’ll find your set point and it will magically stay there. Balanced eating is about more than just ditching diets- it’s also about creating healthy habits that will serve you and your health long term.



If in ditching diets, you create a healthier relationship with food, you stabilize your erratic behaviors around food and you pursue a self-care approach to food and wellness, and your weight was above a place that is comfortable for your body, you might very well lose some weight- and there is nothing wrong with this.


If in ditching diets, you create a healthier relationship with food, you stabilize your erratic behaviors around food and you pursue a self-care approach to food and wellness (and your weight was above a place that is comfortable for your body) you might very well lose some weight- and there is nothing wrong with this.


However- if your ONLY goal in ‘getting healthy’ is to hopefully lose weight-- I can almost guarantee that even if you do, the weight loss won’t last-- and neither will your health goals.


Here’s the truth: WEIGHT LOSS is separate from HEALTH GAINS.


Weight is an appearance goal, not a health goal.


Weight loss may be a SIDE EFFECT of creating healthy habits. But it is not THE healthy habit. Weight is not a habit- it’s a measurement. This is where I see many women get tripped up when it comes to having the desire to lose weight and get healthier- they make those goals one in the same. Those are SEPARATE goals. And I am here to hold space for both of them.


Weight loss may be a SIDE EFFECT of creating healthy habits. But it is not THE healthy habit.

But I want to get clear on the difference.


All you need to do is look around in a room- and know we come in MANY, MANY different sizes- and we can be HEALTHY at many sizes. This doesn’t mean we ARE healthy at every size- each of us has our own healthy size, but it’s not weight dependent. Our weight stabilizes when our habits align with balanced living.


When our focus is only on intentional weight loss- we are not pursuing health. We’re pursuing weight loss!


Pursuing weight loss alone is NOT a long term goal or the means to creating long term change. The reason 95% of diets fail is because it’s a short term effort for what is hoped to be a long term gain, and that just doesn’t add up. Even if you ‘succeed’ at weight loss, if you haven’t created healthy habits along the way, it will creep back up.


Here’s the weight loss truth no one wants to talk about- whatever you do to lose the weight, you need to maintain for the REST of your life to maintain that weight loss.


Here’s the weight loss truth no one wants to talk about- whatever you do to lose the weight, you need to maintain for the REST of your life to maintain that weight loss.

If what you do to lose weight isn’t sustainable, neither will the weight loss. If you need a break from your 'healthy lifestyle', it's not a healthy lifestyle.


Which is why, when women embrace a balanced approach to eating- and their weight stabilizes, it’s much easier to maintain.



My own story:


I’ll share my own self as an example- I don’t talk about this a ton, because I don’t like to talk numbers- so I’m going to be number-neutral here. But I was at my heaviest when I was in high school, before my Eating Disorder. My biggest fear when I embraced IE was that I would end up that size again. 100% truth. I’m not particularly proud of it, but it’s my truth. Here’s what I learned- and my story is very similar to MANY of the women I work with.


At my HEAVIEST, I was not my healthiest.


At my SMALLEST, I was ALSO not my healthiest.


When I allowed my weight to stabilize by taking the focus OFF of the number and instead focusing on creating LONG TERM change, I gained a little, and then I lost a little- and I’ve been the same size for three years, three dress sizes smaller than my heaviest..


LET'S CREATE REAL CHANGE: Here's a tool I use with my clients to get your goals in the right place to lose weight if it's right for your body:


What you want isn’t usually the actual weight- it’s how you think you would FEEL or BE when you lose the weight. What if you could feel and be that without losing the weight??


What do you want OUT of losing weight? What is the ACTUAL outcome you are hoping for, beyond the number?


Losing 10 pounds won’t change your life- you know that. You’ve probably done it before. You might have to go out and buy new jeans. BUT, if nothing else happened, would it be worth it?

If you said yes- there’s something else there. It’s BEYOND new jeans.


So what do you REALLY want?

  • Confidence in your clothes

  • The feeling of accomplishment

  • Improved health outcomes

  • More energy

  • Healthier eating habits

  • Run a 5k

  • Hike a mountain

  • Wear jeans again

  • Live a long time


Get real. NAME WHAT YOU WANT: THESE are your goals. Not the number. You can still desire that weight loss- but focusing on the ACTUAL goal of what you want FROM the weight loss and allowing the goal to be NEUTRAL instead of NUMBER-focused is ESSENTIAL.


You can still desire that weight loss- but focusing on the ACTUAL goal of what you want FROM the weight loss and allowing the goal to be NEUTRAL instead of NUMBER-focused is ESSENTIAL.

Here’s where I want you to be: in a place where the WEIGHT doesn’t matter so much as the RESULT of creating healthy change.


THIS is how you can achieve a sustainably healthy life- weight aside. You might very well lose weight in the process, but your focus has shifted.


Are you in a space where you DESIRE to create INTENTIONAL healthy changes, and you want to do it from a place of freedom? We are talking ALL about intentional health shifts and Intuitive Eating in the Supermama Society, next month. Join a supportive community that has your back (and the tools) to creating sustainable goals for a healthier, happier life. I can't wait to see you there!







Kristin Dovbniak

Welcome!

I'm Kris! Founder of Healthy Balanced Mama, I'm a holistic health coach, certified intuitive eating counselor, trained chef, and mama of two, and I'm here to guide busy moms like you in stressing less and finding freedom with food through balanced eating and simplified routines around meal planning, meal prep, grocery shopping and cooking with confidence.

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