Is balance a myth? Redefining balance



Something I’ve heard from women, especially in the personal development and health community, a ton lately is the idea that balance is a myth.


I’ve said it myself- balance, as many of us know it- is impossible.


Balance, as many of us know it and are striving for is actually a different way of striving for perfection- in this case, striving for equal attention in every area of our lives.

The same goes for our eating. What we call ‘balance’ is often an idealistic picture of eating unusually well throughout the week and just opting for an ice cream cone with your kids for your ‘cheat’ on the weekend, or maybe some chips and salsa on date night (and then ordering a salad because you should, because, of course, #balance).


But what if you don’t want the salad on date night?


What if you get invited to go for ice cream with friends on a Wednesday?


What does #balance turn into then? If you say yes to that thing you’ve decided isn’t ‘balanced’... Is it an all-out excuse to eat whatever the rest of the week, without taking into consideration what would actually feel good… or a reason to skip your ‘cheat’ that weekend and miss out on what would have been a great experience with your kids?


This, friends, is not balance! Balance isn’t static, and there is no one right way to eat and live in a way that is balanced.


Some weeks, balance in our home looks like perfectly split days between work and family time, I’m super present with the kids and super present with my clients and podcast guests and everything just feels cool as a cucumber and we end with a great date night on a patio with a great glass of wine… that was last week and it was GREAT but I’ve got to tell you, it is not the norm.


Other weeks (more typical weeks) we have days that feel great (Monday felt like a good one, where I spent the morning really present in my work and the afternoon hanging with my kiddo and grocery shopping, and the evening with ladies in The Supermama Society) and then there are days where it feels like an ongoing flip-flip between my husband and myself, work and kids, trying to maintain the house (let’s be real- TRYING). As long as I am staying as present and intentional as I can be in each role, I believe BOTH these to be balanced.


The same as weeks where we cook nearly all of our meals at home, including pizza night and just grab takeout for date night… and the ones where we get takeout, pizza and go out to eat all in one week. Though my budget doesn’t feel as balanced at the end of those weeks, they are BOTH balance to me. And they can be, to you to.


It's not that balance is a myth- we simply need to REDEFINE what balance looks like, to us.


It's not that balance is a myth- we simply need to REDEFINE what balance looks like, to us.

I used to think of having a healthy balance as a sort of see-saw, with food on one side and movement on the other, something we needed to constantly work on evening out. I think a lot of women have a similar view of health and wellness.


But what I’ve come to learn and practice over a decade in the health and wellness world, is that balance in health is SO much more than just food and movement. It’s holistic- 360 degrees. It’s not JUST physical health, but mental/emotional health, spiritual health, relational health.




In this proverbial pie chart of health, the goal would be that each area is even- but that’s not life, that’s not realistic. Balance happens over time. The areas are meant to shift, sometimes some taking up more space than others- and when one area is off, or getting too small- that’s simply an indicator that we need to pay more attention to that area- or, when one area is taking up too much space- it's an invitation to bring focus back into the other areas.





When one area is affecting the other areas or taking up too much space, it’s simply a signal that something needs to change. This is realistic balance.


When we redefine balance from looking a certain way, to approaching health as a holistic entity, with flexibility- we can find ease and grace in living a healthy life.


When we redefine balance from looking a certain way, to approaching health as a holistic entity, with flexibility- we can find ease and grace in living a healthy life.


Balance isn’t math equation to be figured out, but a constant state of intentional awareness and adjustment towards our healthiest selves.


Food is just ONE part of the equation- but eating in a balanced way is a powerful catalyst for creating balance in our lives. WHEN we are eating in a balanced way, we are no longer stressing over every bite-- or eating mindlessly and haphazardly, we’re eating with intention and allowing food to serve us well as a source of energy, health, connection.


Balance isn’t math equation to be figured out, but a constant state of intentional awareness and adjustment towards our healthiest selves.

It is for this reason I created my 8 Secrets to Becoming a Balanced Eater web class- where I share the exact steps I took to become the balanced eater I am today. It was such a success the first time I taught it I decided to bring it back for an encore, on July 27, 2020 at 3pm EST. Click here to sign up for free.




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© 2020 Kristin Rugg Dovbniak for Healthy Mama Kris. All Rights Reserved. Terms of Use

Headshots Marie Guagliardo Photography & Sarah Zollo Portraits